Constructing a Personal statement
This post shows my first, second and final draft of my personal statement. This is a document used when applying to local university's through UCAS and could be used in apprenticeships or jobs. I used class resources from my course to make and structure my personal statement and how it paragraph should look and what contents are in each. I attended a UCAS workshop in college. I have over 5 lecturers and I made fitting changes to each draft that was needed to make it the perfect personal statement. The final 3rd draft is ready and uploaded to UCAS and I'm really happy with the quality and outcome of the 3rd draft. I have included all the key information about myself and my journey within media I did have to adapt it to hit the 4000 box mark but that was not a problem after some fixes to fit under the maximum characters . I didn't want to strip each paragraph of its content too much so I made sure that each paragraph had detailed but short words to fit the mark.
First personal statement draft
Second personal statement draft
Feedback (to make third and final perfect)
Advice given: use I am or they are instead of I'm or they're
Action taken: I have went back and fixed words that have been shortened and made it look more formal
Advice given: who has inspired me to take on the career? talk about why?
Action taken: I have taken that question and answered full talking about who and why they have inspired to create in the media world
Advice given: Remove some sentences that are a bit bland and taking up space and adding no information
Action taken: I have removed all the unwanted sentences that are taking up space and not giving information on me as a person in media.
Advice given: talk about some of the projects I have done within media with the software I talked about briefly
Action taken: I have talked about some of the project I have helmed within my course to showing my skills that are being improved every day.
Advice given: when talking about charity and work experience name and detail the charity or work I was working for.
Action taken. I have went back and detailed and written evidence of the charity and work experience I have done for my self.
Advice given: improve issues where I haven't used commas for taking a break during reading.
Action taken: fixed all areas where I have commas or no commas making paragraphs hard to read.
Third and final personal statement draft
In the new and final draft I took every feedback I was given and made the fitting changes and made it look and feel more professional. I added things like specific projects I did whilst in college and work experience I have done over the years. I have also discusses how much I've learn with different softwares over the years. Lastly add some final details about who inspired me and specific charity work I have don't to make it more suited to me personally and making it more suitable for the coursed I am applying for later on.
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